


Daddy Issues

by homojaku



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, Childhood Friends, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Death, Parents Han and Leia, Soft Ben Solo, Tags Contain Spoilers, childhood AU, dad issues, friends to idiots to lovers, han and leia arent the best parents but they try, maz is reys adoptive mom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21512782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homojaku/pseuds/homojaku
Summary: Ben meets Rey when she moves in next door, and they grow together. Through the years, Rey and Ben go through ups and downs, but they always seem to come back to each other.(author's note: please don't skip this because of the title it isnt a daddy kink its the title of a song by the neighborhood)
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	1. We're Going To Be Friends

> _And when I wake tomorrow I'll bet  
>  That you and I will walk together again  
> I can tell that we are going to be friends_

Ben hopped onto his mother’s lap, something he did most mornings, a small ritual they shared from the time Ben was very young. She would take her soft brush and run it through his wild curls, her warm hands somehow never pulling hard on his scalp, yet still calming the mess underneath her grasp.

“Hey, angel,” Leia said quietly to him, the nickname from his infancy always making him give a crooked smile back to her. “Guess what is happening today?”

Ben thought to himself for a minute, knowing it was a weekend and that he wouldn’t have to go to school, but also knowing that he hadn’t heard about anything happening. When nothing came to his mind, he turned slightly and shook his head. She smiled widely, going back to brushing his hair.

“Well, we have a new neighbor moving in.” she begins, and he hums in response. “She is an older woman, but she has a girl near your age living with her.”

Ben popped his head around quickly, his smile beaming. “Really?!”

Leia laughed gently before nodding.

“Mhm, but I want to ask something from you, Ben,” She says, voice getting slightly more serious, making Ben stiffen up as she continues to brush. “Her parents aren’t there, so it might make her sad if you ask her about them.”

“Is our neighbor not—” Ben starts before Leia nods.

“She was adopted by our neighbor to take care of her.”

“Oh, like uncle Lando?”

Leia nods, finishing her time with his hair, hugging her son close to her. “She has had a hard time, so I just want you to be her friend. She doesn’t really have any.”

Ben nods, looking up at her with his large, brown eyes.

“How old is she?”

“She’s 4, so she’s a little younger than you.”

Ben’s eyes widen and he jumped off her lap, a determined look on his face as he ran out of his bedroom. He never spoke a _ton,_ but he always was very stubborn on what he said he would do. Leia let out a small chuckle in response, slowly following her determined son as she heard the front door open and close quickly.

Ben raced outside into the chill of the fall air and shivered slightly as he laid eyes on the moving truck parked in the lot for the house next to his. He could hear his mother’s chuckle, but he didn’t care. He ran over, panting and looking for the girl that he was told about, even though he knew nothing about her.

He saw an older woman with tanned skin hunched over a box with a girl who was half his size. She was trying to help the woman carry the box, but from the way her back shook, he assumed she was laughing. He couldn’t get a good look at the girl but saw her sandy hair and red cheeks. She had big eyes and was puffing out her cheeks with effort.

The young girl saw him, and her eyes widened, her body freezing, and the woman turned towards him, her eyebrows scrunched together for a second before relaxing. She smiled gently at him before turning towards his house, where his mother was standing on the porch, laughing quietly.

“This your boy?” she calls out across the way and his mother nods. She sets the box down on the ground before turning around, brushing her hands on her jeans and walking towards him. She had grey hair and laugh lines around her eyes, framed by large glasses, not being that much taller than Ben but smiling wide at him. She reached out a hand to him. “Nice to meet you, kiddo, I’m Maz Kanata. And you are?”

“Ben Solo!” His voice went high as he reached to match her hand. She shook it roughly, wiggling his arm up and down rapidly, getting a giggle out of him.

Ben spotted the girl from behind Maz, shyly peeking out from behind her. Her eyes were wide, but her face and posture exuded fear, and Ben smiled nervously.

“Introduce yourself, he doesn’t bite,” Maz says to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Not hard, anyway!” his father calls from their yard, and Ben goes bright red. The girl giggles quietly, and Ben’s blush calms, though it still flushed his ears that poked through his curls.

The girl steps out just slightly, enough to make herself seen, but still shy in posture.

“I’m Rey,” she says, her voice small and high-pitched, a slight blush adding color to her cheeks. She puts out a small hand covered in freckles. “Rey Kanata.”

Ben shakes it gently, repeating his name and examining her features. Rey had light brown hair and eyes, wrapped in messy buns on the back of her head. Her cheeks were also dusted in freckles, and her skin, while also tanned, was not as dark as Maz. She had a small, shy smile, and Ben felt his cheeks flush lightly again, and his heart beat a little faster as he shook her hand.

“How old are you?” she asked, her smile becoming less shy as time passed. In contrast, he felt like he was getting shyer as time passed.

“Nine,” he answered quietly. His mother had already told him her age, but he wanted to be polite, so he added, “You?”

Maz left and he saw his parents walk over to assist her with moving, leaving the kids in peace.

“I’m 4!” she stuck up four fingers excitedly, her demeanor changing quickly.

He wasn’t sure why he was embarrassed, but he thinks it might be his lack of friends. He could count on one hand the amount he had in his school, and they weren’t always the nicest.

“Hey, dad?” Ben calls out above her shoulder. His father grunts in response, which he knows by now is the closest thing he’ll get to an answer when he’s distracted. “Can we go play? In the house?”

His parents both turn sharply at him, a strange look on their faces. They look at each other for a minute before smiling.

“Sure, kid, but play nice!”

He can hear his parents laughing at him, but he ignores it.

“Wanna go play?” he asked, holding out his hand towards her. She simply nodded, putting her hand in his, and he guided her there. He tried to make sure not to walk too fast, since he was taller than her.

When they entered the home, Rey’s eyes grew and wandered around the nooks and crannies of the place, letting out small sounds of awe. He was going to ask, but he remembered what his mother had told him, so he just continued to guide her to the playroom.

“Woah!” she said as she entered the room, diving straight towards the NES hooked up to his small TV. “I’ve only ever seen these in stores!”

Ben just smiles softly, sitting next to where she is while turning on the TV and the system. He points to a stack of games that sit next to the TV stand and asks, “What game do you want to play?”

She looks over them for a moment before pulling out Bubble Bobble with a big smile and handing it to him. He got it ready, handing a controller to her, and he grabbed pillows for them to sit on as they played.

They played for what felt like hours yet just seconds, switching back and forth between co-op games and laughing at each other. Ben didn’t ask her anything about her homelife, her past, anything, but just enjoyed the time they had together. He could feel his eyes start to sting when he heard a knock on the doorframe. Looking back, he saw his parents smiling gently at them both, a light sheen of sweat covering his father’s forehead but not his mother’s.

“Alright, kiddos, its time to wrap it up,” his father says, which earned a groan from them.

“You know you can’t play this all day, Ben,” his mother laughs, walking over to fluff their hair. Ben blushed slightly but he was glad to hear Rey giggle.

“Can I come play again tomorrow?” Rey asked, looking hopefully into his mother’s face.

“Only if your mother says it’s okay,” she responds, smiling widely.

Rey takes a moment to respond, her mouth open, as if she was going to correct her, but then stops. After a moment, she nods and thanks her.

“Go on, starfighter, walk her back to her place,” his father calls as he walks away from the room, faint laughter surrounding his words.

Ben blushes harder at the nickname, but stands up, dusting his pants off before reaching a hand over to Rey. “I’ll walk you home, ‘cuz I’m older.”

Rey laughs at this and accepts his hand, lifting herself up with the assistance before following him. He didn’t realize how much time had passed in those moments alone with her, but it was dusk once they walked back outside.

“Did you have fun?” she asks him, her voice quiet and shy again. He turns to her and nods. “Older kids think I’m too little to play so they don’t let me.”

He thinks about this for a moment. He only knew her for a day, but he already felt defensive of her.

“That’s not fair,” he says, voice quiet but firm. “A lot of kids don’t like to play with me, either.”

“Why?”

“They say I’m mean and scary ‘cuz I’m taller than everyone,” Ben was the tallest in his fourth-grade class, and with his shy nature, he didn’t make friends easily.

“You’re not mean and scary!” Rey calls out loudly, scrunching her eyebrows together and frowning. “A mean and scary person wouldn’t let me play on his NES.”

Ben laughed as his ears warmed, not knowing how to respond but glad to hear her defense. They got to her door and she turned to him.

“I’ll ask Ma-I mean, Mom, if I can come over tomorrow,” Rey has a sad look on her face and Ben wishes he was funnier so he could make her laugh.

“I sure hope you can,” he says, smiling wide at her. She smiles back and waves to him. “Goodnight, Rey!”

“Goodnight, Ben!”

She opens the door quietly, slipping in as if she was sneaking, but giving him one last wave goodbye. He waves back before watching the door close.

He sighs quietly to himself, sad that his day with his friend is already over, but still feeling the heat in his ears. He didn’t have many friends, but Rey didn’t even blink before becoming his. He had fun with her, and he wanted her to be able to make it over tomorrow night.

He got back to his house with his father sitting in the lounge chair across from the front door. He gave Ben a mischievous grin, which made him even more embarrassed.

“Have fun with your girlfriend?” he asks, snickering at Ben’s exploding blush.

“Han! Leave him alone!” his mother calls from another room, which makes his father laugh more.

“I’m just teasing you, get over here,” he says, reaching a hand out to Ben.

Ben slowly approaches, taking his hand once he gets close enough.

“Seriously, kid, you have fun?”

Ben nods, his face calming. He gets a nod and laugh in response, his father’s hand ruffling his hair wild.

“Remember to be nice, Ben,” he warns gently, his voice betraying his smile.

“I have been. Rey said I wasn’t mean and scary,” Ben says, puffing his cheeks out.

“Good.”

His father has what sounds like doubt in his voice which bothers Ben, but he knows he shouldn’t say anything that could be considered back-talk. His father squeezes his hand and releases it, and Ben runs off to find his mother.

She is grabbing plates for dinner, looking over her shoulder at the noise from Ben’s feet.

“Hello, angel,” she says, her long hair cascading down her back in a braid. “What’s up?”

Ben makes a small noise before jumping into one of the tall chairs lined against the kitchen island.

“You okay?” she asks quietly, walking over to cup his cheek in her hand.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t sound like it, baby,” she kisses his forehead, making him smile, before walking back to the pot simmering on the stove.

“I’m okay, I just,” he thinks to himself before finishing. “I’m glad Rey moved in next door.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mm-hmm. I don’t get along with the kids in my class but,” he crosses his arms on the island before laying his head on them, halfway burying his face. “She said I’m not scary.”

He felt slightly embarrassed saying this, trying to hide his face in his arms.

“Oh, really? People say you’re scary?” Her voice sounds slightly incredulous and he doesn’t raise his head.

A moment passes before he hears his mother’s bare feet padding their way over to him.

“Hey, Benny boy,” she whispers next to him. “Look at me.”

It takes a moment, but he raises his head up enough for his eyes to poke out, though his hair covered a good majority of his face. His mother brushes some of it out of his eyes, leaning close to him.

“You aren’t scary, Ben, and I know scary,” she says, raising her eyebrows up.

“Really?”

“Really. Now, get your father and grab napkins and silverware for dinner. If you two don’t hurry up, I’ll eat it all without you!”

She laughs as Ben jumps up, rushing to grab his father.

After dinner, Ben brushes his teeth and changed for bed as his parents talked in the living room, their voices muffled through the walls. He wants to ignore it, but he knows that they’re talking about him. He just wants to go to bed so it can be closer to tomorrow, closer to being able to play with Rey more. He didn’t have to think about school, or the kids in his grade, he could just be himself and have fun with her.

There’s a knock at his door and he turns to see his mother walking in.

“Ready for bed?”

He nods, grabbing his stuffed bear, Chewy, before crawling into his bed. His mother sat on the edge, tucking him in up to his nose, making him laugh.

“Have good dreams, Ben,” she says, moving his hair from his face before kissing his forehead.

“You too, momma,” he says, already feeling his eyes getting heavy.

She walks towards his door, turning off the light before turning back to him.

“Hey, flyboy,” she says, catching his attention.

He hums in response, trying to keep his eyes open.

“I’m glad that you made a friend. You’re a good kid,” she says, her voice going quiet as she hovers at his door.

“Thank you, momma,” he says quietly.

“Goodnight, Ben,” she says, closing the door slowly.

“Goodnight.”

He falls asleep thinking about the day he had with Rey, wondering if she would be able to come over again. He hugged his bear tight, and fell gently into sleep.


	2. Papaoutai?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey enjoy a snow day, with only minor inconveniences coming along.

> _Maman dit "travailler c'est bien"_   
>  _Bien mieux qu'être mal accompagné_   
>  _Pas vrai?_

Ben knocked on his neighbor’s door, yawning in the early light of the morning. He started this tradition years ago, and he does his best to make sure he never misses it.

The door slowly opens, Rey slipping out while calling out to Maz that she is leaving. Her bright red booksack looks big on her, coming down to her legs. She had her uniform on, the white button up shirt, green and blue plaid skirt, a puffy dark blue jacket, and the small matching bow around her neck was skewed, uneven.

“Good morning, Rey,” he says, his voice quiet. His breath fogs in the November air, and he reaches out to her bow to fix it for her.

“Good morning, Ben,” she replies, looking way too awake for being up so early in the morning. “Did you finish your homework?”

Ben nods, finishing fixing her bow, and she thanks him.

“I was probably up a little too late doing it, but mom and dad don’t really care,” he says, turning to start walking to school next to her.

Almost every morning for the last 3 school years, Ben has walked Rey to the matching elementary school to his middle school. He had only just graduated from there, so he used to be able to always walk her directly to her classes, but now that he was in middle school, he couldn’t do it often.

“How is your English class going?” he asks her, rubbing his hands together in front of his mouth as he tries to warm them with his breath.

“It’s okay, I guess,” she replies, looking down at the ground. He didn’t want to push her to talk about it, but he knows that she likes to talk about what bothers her. “My teacher is just really strict. I’m trying but I can’t…”

“Focus?”

“Yeah! Everything is cool and I just want to go outside. Not read an old book,” she kicks a rock in her path, sending it flying.

“Have you told Maz about it?”

“Not yet,” she says, and turns up her eyebrows at Ben’s hum in response. “I don’t want to worry her more.”

“That is her job, though,” Ben says, knowing that he doesn’t always talk to his parent’s either, but Maz seemed different. “I can help you more, if you want. My homework is boring.”

Rey laughs and this and smiles at him, the worry fading from his face. He smiled back at her, relieved to see her smile again.

“If you want to,” she says, stretching her arms above her. “You are better at English than I am.”

“And you’re better at science than I am,” he adds, making sure she doesn’t forget that.

“I guess,” she huffs out. “You’re older, though, you’ve learned more!”

“But your grades are better. I only got Cs in science class.”

She laughs, giving up the fight. He started to see the elementary school in the distance, and he wished that he could walk longer. Walking with her to and from school was probably the most fun he had all day. She actually talked to him and didn’t think he was scary despite being over a foot taller than her now. His parents were cool, but they often would hear him, but not really listen. He only had a couple of friends in his class, and they sometimes got too caught up in talking about other people. He felt stuck in his own head.

“Do you like walking with me before and after school?” he asks, suddenly worried that she only joined him because it was a tradition.

She gapes at him for a second before answering. “Of course! You listen no matter how fast I talk and you’re funny.”

He laughs quietly, taken by surprise by her reasoning, but glad she felt the same.

“Don’t let those assholes get you down,” Ben says, gently knocking a fist against her arm, imitating a punch. She laughs and grabs her arm as if hurt.

“You’re not supposed to say that word!”

“Mom tells me not to but dad doesn’t care,” Ben offers, but Rey does not look convinced. “Are you going to tell them?”

She shakes her head rapidly, and he laughs louder, the breath fogging more than the others.

Suddenly, Rey stops, moments before crossing the fence into her school property. Ben looks at her, eyebrows confused, and she just points up above her. He looks up to see small snowflakes floating down, falling into her hair.

“Do you think they’ll let us stay home tomorrow?” she asks, holding out a gloved hand to catch any flakes.

“I guess it depends on how high it builds up.”

She nods, then looks at him, walking again.

He walks her up to the doors of her school, and she grabs his gloved hand, squeezing it quickly.

“Thank you for walking me,” she whispers, smiling gently.

“Have fun in class,” Ben says, and she sticks her tongue out at him.

“You too, goofy,” she says, letting him go before turning and going through the open doors.

He watches as she walks in until a teacher joins her, then he turns around and starts heading towards his building.

~~~

By the end of the school day, around a foot of snow had fallen outside, while still coming down at a rapid pace. He wanted to groan, but he thought about being able to play on Playstation with Rey if school got cancelled. Suddenly, he was glad to see it keep falling.

“Ugh, this sucks!” he hears Armitage groan next to him.

“Don’t you want school to be cancelled?” Phasma asks him, and they gather around Ben.

“I mean, I guess,” Armitage mumbles. “I just don’t like to be around my mom all day. She makes me help her clean.”

Phasma laughs at this, and Ben just continues to stare outside.

“What about you, Solo?” the redhead asks him, crossing his arms.

Ben snaps out of his thoughts, turning his head towards the two. “About what?”

“Staying home tomorrow,” Phasma says, rolling her eyes at him.

“I guess it could be cool. Dad will probably be home, but he usually doesn’t care if I just play video games,” he says, leaning back in his chair before standing. “I’ve got to go.”

“Walking her home again?” Armitage scoffs, as if it was the most odd thing he had heard of.

Ben ignores him, focusing on throwing on his jacket and gathering his stuff. He starts to head towards the door before he hears his friends.

“Do you _have_ to do this every day?” Phasma asks him. She leans against his desk but avoids looking him in the eye.

No matter how many times he’s told them, they never seem to care about what he actually cares about. At this point, he doesn’t even try to argue, he just ignores.

“See you guys later,” he says, walking out.

It frustrates him that they can’t understand why he walks her home. He likes to do it, but he was also trusted by Maz and his mom to make sure that Rey gets home safely. She had been through too much already, and he didn’t want her to get hurt walking home on her own. Armitage and Phasma had never even _met_ her, never cared to ask him anything about her.

He feels anger rising in him, but as he approaches the elementary school again, he swallows it. He didn’t want her to think he was mad at her. He walked up to the doors and was greeted by a female teacher with short, slightly greying hair.

“Hello, Ben,” Ms. Holdo says, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Here for Rey?”

He nods, feeling too big for the building, too big next to his elementary science teacher. He used to only go up to her waist, but now he was approaching her shoulders. The school was made for smaller kids, and he felt like a giant inside of it. She leaves to grab Rey, and he stiffens up as he hears laughter from another room. He used to be part of this world, but now he wasn’t.

Holdo comes back with Rey by her side, and he feels the tension leave him. She smiles up at him and runs over his way, waving behind her to Holdo.

“Ben!” she calls out, reaching his side. “You ready to go home?”

He nods, waves to Holdo as well, and turns around to leave the building. As they walk out, Rey sees the level of snow that had piled up, and she gasped in surprise.

“There’s so much!”

“You didn’t see it?” he asks, turning his brow up in confusion.

“I had to stay inside for recess,” she says, a pout forming on her face. He feels the anger come back, only slightly, knowing how much this always bothered her.

“What happened?” He swallowed the anger again, keeping it deep in his stomach instead of verbalizing it.

“I talked without raising my hand,” she says, her face turned up towards the sky, paying attention to the snow falling.

They always walked slower on the way back from school, but it always felt like their homes came by too fast.

“You should talk to Maz,” he says, walking up to her door with her. “You know how she would give it to the school.”

Rey laughs in response, her head falling back. She unlocked the door with the key she wore on a necklace and turned to Ben.

“You think we’ll have school?”

He thinks for a moment before responding. “Not if it keeps up like this.”

She smiles and nods. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you.”

The door closes behind her, and he walks back to his house, alone. He sees his father’s junker car in the open garage, and he finds it strange. He usually stays at the shop until it turns dark, so Ben rarely sees him home when he gets there. Coming closer, he also sees his mother's car, and he wonders why they’re both home so early. He hesitates as he turns the back-door’s knob, trying to be as quiet as he can be.

“I’m home,” he calls, quiet, shutting the door behind him. The family dog, Artoo, bounds up to him, balancing on his leg. He pets his head, still slightly tense.

“Oh, Ben!” His mother appears from the hallway behind the living room. “You’re already home?”

“I always get home at this time.”

She looks at the clock before realizing. “Oh, the time went by so fast!”

Ben stares at her for a moment, his mind trying to figure out what is happening. “Did something happen?”

She hesitates, then smiles, walking over to him and taking his bag. “Uncle Luke visited earlier, and I just decided to stay home after lunch.”

He nods, the pieces clicking together. “What about dad?”

“Oh,” she says, thinking for a moment. “The shop was slow from the snow, so he came home early.”

Ben hums in response and takes his bag. “I’m going to go work on homework.”

She nods before going back to where she was, and he headed towards his room. He heard soft whispers from his parent’s room, but he couldn’t make out what was being said. Part of him wanted to care, but he shrugged it off and went to spend time alone. He said he was going to do his homework, but he usually just liked to lay on his bed and stare up at the glow in the dark stars on his roof, left over from when he was an infant.

He didn’t know why his parents made everything with him when he was an infant space themed, including the childhood nicknames of ‘starfighter’ and ‘flyboy’. His father was usually busy, and his mother didn’t ever mention it. Looking at these stars, though, he felt like he was meant to be somewhere else, somewhere far away, and he would reach out towards them and imagine himself among the stars. He was deep in imagination when the _SKKK_ of his walkie-talkie blasted, making him jump back into reality.

“ _Ben?”_ Rey’s voice came over the walkie, and Ben gave himself a second to calm his startled heart before responding.

“Hey, Rey,” he responds, shaking his head to fully come back from where he was.

“ _Mom says that she thinks school will be cancelled.”_

“Ah, really? Are you guys going to do anything?”

“ _She still has work at the hospital,”_ her voice sounds quiet, hesitant.

“Oh, okay. I’m sure my parents will be working, too,” he replies, thinking that today was just an anomaly.

“ _I wonder if it is cancelled,”_ she starts, taking a minute to finish. “ _Do you think I could come over and play?_ ”

Ben doesn’t hesitate in his answer, immediately responds with, “Of course it is, I mean, unless your mom says it isn’t.”

“ _I’ll ask her tonight._ ”

“Have you done your homework?” he asks her, knowing that she will put it off if she can.

There’s silence on the walkie and Ben can’t hold back his laugh. He knows he doesn’t have much room to talk since he hasn’t done his yet, either, but he ignores that thought.

“Go do your homework, sunny,” Ben has laughter edging around his voice as he speaks, “and then we’ll talk.”

“ _Ugh, okay,_ ” she responds, and Ben sets the walkie down, thinking the conversation is over. Suddenly, her voice is back. “ _But you do yours, too!_ ”

Ben laughs but doesn’t respond, instead pulling his booksack closer to him, taking out various notebooks to begin on homework.

~~~

Ben is nudged gently from sleep by a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly.

“Good morning, flyboy,” his mother says before his eyes are fully open. Once she sees him open them more, she backs off, letting him sit up. “Guess what?”

Ben rubs his eyes before glancing over at his mother. “Is school cancelled?”

“How did you know?” she laughs, running her hand over his hair.

“Rey was talking about it yesterday,” he says, leaning into his mother’s touch.

“Oh, was she?” she smiles at him. “Well, I have to go to work. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?”

“Is dad not here?” he asks, crinkling his eyebrows together.

His mother hesitates in her answer, mouth gaping slightly before she closes it to smile. “He had a customer to go see.”

“Oh.” Ben nods, caught slightly off guard but not surprised. “I’ll be okay. Can Rey come over and hang out?”

“Oh, uh,” she hesitates for a second, “if her mom is okay with it, I guess. I gotta go, though, kiddo, so be good, okay?”

He looks at her suit, crisp and clean as it always is, and he looked back at her face. Her eyes looked tired and sad.

“Okay,” he says, making himself small, smaller than he had ever been. “Have a good day.”

She looks at him, smiling sadly, and cups his cheek. “You too, flyboy.”

She leaves, looking at him briefly, before going out the doors and leaving him in silence. Well, in the silence of people, but he heard his dog’s snoring from the other room. At least he had Artoo.

He heard a _SKKK_ over the radio. He had Rey, too.

“ _Ben, you there?_ ”

“Yeah, I’m here. What’s up?” he feels the smile form on his face without trying.

“ _I’m guessing you heard?_ ” she says, her voice excited and loud.

“Yeah,” he replies, laughing too. “Did you ask your mom?”

“ _She said I can, yeah,_ ” Rey says, “ _can you come pick me up?_ ”

“Yeah, hold on.”

He dresses quickly, throwing on a coat and hat haphazardly, before calling out to Artoo. The fluffy white terrier bounded his way over to Ben, making him laugh. He clipped the leash onto the dog before going outside, quickly being blinded by the shine off the snow.

The sun was out, but the breeze was brisk, making him shiver, and the light sparkling from the snow hurt his eyes. More than a foot was piled outside, and he could see the blue salt on the pathway from their front door melting away the ice that had formed there. The road was still icy, but he didn’t worry about that.

He picked up Artoo, holding him close to warm them both, and he headed towards the house next to his.

He knocked gently, suddenly nervous in the depths of his stomach, but when Rey opened the door, it melted away.

She was dressed head to toe in at least 3 layers for all her extremities, including a jacket that made her look round, and a hat so big it covered her buns and almost all of her face. Her scarf was long too, wrapping around what was left of her face so Ben could only see her nose and eyes.

“You warm enough?” he laughed, the familiar, silly sight making him relax.

“Could be warmer,” she says, squinting her eyes and nose for emphasis, “I’m from the desert, not this.”

“Ah, true,” he laughs and holds out a hand for her to take, “I thought Britain was cold and rainy too, though?”

She always made a face when he pointed out her accent, one that she shared with Maz, and she shook her head.

“I was born there, but when Mom got me,” she pauses, voice sounding lonely and cold, “well, we moved around a little before going to Arizona. Then we came here ‘cuz she didn’t like the heat, and she wanted to be closer to the ocean.”

He takes in what she’s saying, squeezing her hand slightly. “When did she take you in?”

“Ah,” she thinks for a minute, eyes up at the clear sky, “I think I was 2? My real mom and dad were mean and tried to get rid of me, and she found me.”

Her voice is matter-of-factly, too serious for his liking, but calm enough that he knew she wasn’t about to cry. Maybe.

“Do you remember them?” he says before he can stop himself, and she continues to look into the sky.

“Kinda?” she scrunches her face again, “I remember little things, but they aren’t nice. Well, I do remember my real mom has my hair color!”

She rips off her hat to show him, as if he hadn’t seen her hair before, before shivering and letting go of his hand to put it back on.

“Can we go inside? It’s really cold,” she says, looking at him this time, eyes caramel colored in the light.

He nods and lets them in, setting Artoo down, who immediately jumps onto Rey’s legs, making her giggle. They shed off the extra layers and set them on the coat rack next to the door and take off their shoes to set them next to the door.

“Playstation?” he asks, shaking his hair back into shape after taking his hat off. Rey laughs at him, making his ears burn.

“Yeah, hurry up,” she says, running on her socks to the game room, and he chases after her.

~~~

“I told mom about what you said,” Rey says suddenly as they play the 5th game of the day.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah,” she puffs out her cheeks for a second, focusing on the game before going back to talking. “She said she’s gonna bring me to the doctor next week about it, but she wanted to yell at my teacher.”

Ben laughs, expecting nothing less from Maz, and knocks his shoulder into hers.

“I’m glad you told her,” he says, taking a sideways glance at her, before going back to the game.

They continue to play until Ben hears the door open, his father bounding in, covered in sweat and grease. He puts down his controller and leaves Rey to greet him. He felt like he hadn’t seen his father in days at this point.

“You’re back,” he says, voice quieter than before, staying in the opening to the hallway instead of approaching.

“Oh,” he looks caught off guard by Ben, eyes wide and eyebrows scrunched, “you’re home?”

Ben doesn’t want to answer him. Something feels off, the vibe being given is making him want to go back to his room and not approach at all. Something in his father’s look won’t let him back away, won’t let him stop, so he speaks. “School was out.”

His father rubs the back of his neck, looking around. “Oh.”

“Are you done with work?” he asks, voice going quieter than before.

“What?” Han looks around, then continues, “Oh, yeah, I gotta run some errands, though, so I’ll be out.”

“Okay,” he looks down, mostly listening to the sound of Rey playing his games. “Be careful.”

“Yeah, kiddo,” Han goes into his room, passing Ben by but not touching him.

Ben watches the door close, stares for a minute, then goes back to playing with Rey.

“Everything okay?” she asks him, attention split between the game and his answer.

He didn’t want to worry her. “Um, yeah, it’s all good. Dad’s home but he’s about to go run errands.”

She turns her head, “Oh, do you need to go with him?”

He shakes his head as he sits back down with her, taking the controller, trying to ignore everything else.

He did his best, only thinking about it on occasion, but trying to focus.

Once he settled back in, time passed by much faster, and they laughed and played until he heard the door again. He hesitated, wondering if his father was back, but then he heard the _click_ of his mother’s heels and he got up to greet her.

“Where’s your dad?” was the only thing she said as he walked in to the room.

“He said he had errands,” Ben walks up to her to grab her bag and help her unload.

“What,” she huffs, exacerbated, “that man, I—Thank you, Ben, for watching the place.”

She ruffled his hair and he nodded, smiling softly, helping her put everything back. She, as far as she had told him and he had seen on TV, was a politician, and was often on her feet, if not going cross country. She never wore any shoes besides 2-inch heels to work and he didn’t really get it, seeing her red feet after she took them off, but whenever he asked, all she would say was, “men.”

Rey popped into the room as Ben was helping her get her shoes off, her smile almost as wide as when he picked her up. She must have taken her hair down at some point because it cascaded down on her back instead of in her usual bun style.

“Hi, Rey!” his mother’s voice could always quickly recover into sweetness no matter how annoyed she was.

“Hi, Mrs. Solo,” Rey said quietly, coming into the room slowly.

“What did I tell you my name is?”

“Mom?” Ben responds quickly, trying to get the mood to stay up, and he puffed out his cheeks in an effort to not laugh at his own joke.

“I don’t think Maz would appreciate that, Ben,” she laughs, “Rey?”

“Hi, Leia,” her voice is so small it can barely be heard even with how close she stood next to his mother.

“Hello, sunflower,” his mother’s eyes crinkle in her smile and she reaches up to pat Rey’s head. “Have you guys been playing games _all_ day?”

There’s an awkward silence between all three of them and Ben is just as stubborn as his mother, even in silence. Leia breaks it with laughter, hugging them both to her tightly, then letting them go.

“What’s for dinner, rebels?” Leia asks, laughter echoing through the house.

~~

They finish up dinner, Ben washing dishes with Rey, on a stool, assisting, laughing and joking around with occasional water splashing on each other. The phone rings for a moment and his mother goes to answer it in the other room, but he didn’t pay it much mind.

A few minutes later, they’re finished up, drying their hands on towels hanging off the stove.

“Hey, Ben, can you come here for a minute?” his mother’s voice echoes from the other room, and he calls back as he walks there, telling Rey to stay behind.

He sees his mother in the hallway connected to the living room, and he follows her into her room, where she closes the door behind him.

“A-am I in trouble?” Ben says, voice wavering nervously.

“What?” Leia says, looking like she was taken off guard, “Oh, honey, no, you’re not in trouble.”

“Then what’s going on?”

“Come here,” she says, reaching a hand out to her son, and he approaches. She runs her hands over his hair gently before continuing, “I got a call from where Maz works and she’s getting kind of sick, so they’re keeping her there for a little while.”

“Is she going to be okay?” Ben’s heart feels tight, like his chest is too small for it and he can’t breathe.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine, but don’t,” she hesitates, her eyes getting a shine to them, “don’t tell Rey, okay? I don’t want her to worry.”

Ben nods and she tugs him in close, hugging him tightly to her.

“Okay, lets go let her know she can spend the night here,” she says, smile not reaching her eyes.

She guides him out, holding his hand, and they find Rey in the living room, drawing on paper she found somewhere. Ben takes initiative when he sees his mother hesitate, gliding quickly over to her.

“Hey, Rey, do you wanna have a sleepover?” he asks, making his smile wide. She smiles back and his chest feels less tight.

“Is it okay?” She looks between him and Leia quickly. He turns to look at her, too.

Leia acts as if she’s thinking for a moment before nodding, and he turns back to see Rey’s smile go wide and bright, and his actual smile seems to edge out.

They chill for a little while, talking and playing with random things, before Ben notices something _off_ about everything going on. He turns to see his mother knitting on the couch behind them humming gently to herself.

“Hey mom,” he asks, and she hums in response, so he continues, “Where’s dad? Did he have _that_ many errands?”

Her eyes widen slightly, then she plasters on the fake smile she had on before. Ben feels uncomfortable suddenly, like he isn’t supposed to be here, he isn’t welcome here.

“I guess so, kiddo,” she says, knitting steadily instead of looking at him. “He’s not at the shop, so I can’t really call to check in.”

He nods, wanting the conversation to be over, wanting to just go back to what he was doing. The darkness of night was flooding in slowly and the absence in the room was unsettling to him. Sure, he wasn’t crazy close to his father, but they were a _unit_ , and it felt weird to not have everyone.

Eventually he could see Rey’s eyelids begin to get heavy and he was also feeling the influence of the night hit him.

“I think it’s time for bed, rebels,” Leia says, setting her knitting down and standing slowly. She patted them both on the back gently, guiding them to his room.

“You can sleep in my bed,” Ben says, grabbing two blankets and a pillow from the hallway closet.

“But—” Rey starts, Ben and Leia both interrupting her by nodding. “Okay.”

He sets out his blankets and pillow as Rey shuffles into his bed. They both lay down and Leia hovers by the door.

“Goodnight, you two,” she says, voice gentle. “I know it’s the weekend tomorrow, but make sure you go to bed!”

They both laugh as she closes the door slowly.

“Hey, Ben?” Rey asks into the darkness. He can’t see her, but he can imagine her face as she talks.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for letting me come over today,” she whispers, voice thick with sleep.

“Of course! I had fun.”

“Me too,” she pauses for a moment. “Good night, Ben.”

“Good night, Rey.”

The tightness in his chest is back, but it feels different this time. Less like the nauseous, lungs-compressing-under-ribs feeling, but more like someone was pressing on his chest, enough to notice and quicken his heartrate.

He falls asleep to the sound of Rey’s gentle snoring, eyes locked on the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling.

~~~

He wakes in the middle of the night, bladder too full to stay asleep. His eyes feel strained, just barely staying open, and he peels the covers off of him to go to the bathroom.

He’s in the hallway, almost to the bathroom, when his parent’s door opens, his father stepping out quietly, suitcase in hand. He notices Ben slightly late, already stepping out, and Ben feels like he’s dreaming still. He sees his mother, just barely, in the doorway.

“Dad?” He asks, thickness of sleep making his voice slur, and his father’s face twists.

His father turned his face toward him and he looked angry. The same look he gave Ben when he had accidentally knocked the can of paint on the roof of his car, spilling it all over and messing up the slow work his father had done. The nauseous, tight feeling was back, and it didn’t feel like a dream anymore.

His father moved past him, walking to the door, and Ben followed him.

He watched as Han opened the door, letting the morning sun into their house, and disappeared behind it as it closed. He was frozen to the spot, staring at the place where his father was.

He felt his mother’s arms wrap around him, her voice sounding too wet. “Oh, Ben.”

Her arms were tight around him, and anger welled inside of him. He hated seeing his mother upset. She was always strong, and he could count the number of times she had cried in front of him on one hand, and this time it was _him_ who had caused it.

They sat there for a few moments, anger pooling in Ben, starting in his feet and slowly rising into his chest. It was suffocating his heart when his mother spoke.

“Please understand, Ben,” her face was buried in his shoulder, arms tight around his chest, “I know that this doesn’t make sense, but please trust me.”

It took a moment, but he nodded in response. He worried that his voice would give him away if he spoke. She turned him around and he finally saw her. Her eyes had dark bags underneath them, tears gleaming in the morning light. Her hair was messily braided over her shoulder and she had her nightgown on.

“You and I can make it,” she says, and he can’t tell if she’s talking to him or herself.

He nods again, and the warmth from the sun behind him burnt the image of his father’s back into his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving! This chapter was a bit of a monster and it ended sadly, sorry. It will all make sense later, but I will give a hint: I wrote the last scene with Hohenheim from FMA in mind and modeled it slightly after his scene where he leaves the boys in the beginning. 
> 
> I'm making each chapter associated with a song and at the end I will link to the playlist I made with all of the songs in order. This chapter's song was "Papaoutai" by Stromae! 
> 
> I hope y'all don't hate me! I love Han and Leia both so much but I want to make them realistic!  
> I'm also including some personal things in this, like Rey having ADHD. 
> 
> Please leave a comment if you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first reylo work, and my first work in a while. My creativity has been very depleted recently, and the amount of hate I got on other works I wrote prevented me from writing what I enjoy. If you read this and plan to keep up with this, please comment and let me know. I have been very down and the comments really help a lot. I hope y'all enjoy this tons.  
> Shout out to my wife who has been helping me with the fallout of everything happening and keeping me away from the darkest places.  
> Also, a thank you to my friend Jace for talking with me about the stuff in this and giving me feedback. I love you Jace!


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